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Happy, Healthy You – Learn Healthy Boundaries

 

Happy, Healthy You – Learn Healthy Boundaries

 

I used to say YES to everyone’s requests and demands of me. And if I am being transparent, sometimes my heart didn’t want to do what was asked of me and/or I didn’t have the time to squeeze it into my already busy life. Can you relate? It didn’t matter who asked me: partner, close friends, acquaintances, coworkers, bosses or family members. Honestly, I didn’t even know what a healthy boundary was, let alone know how to set them. My life changed when a dear friend let me borrow her cherished book by Anne Katherine, called Where to Draw the Line, How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day. It is very well written, in language I could easily understand and most importantly, apply in my life. The book not only taught me what boundaries are, but explained in detail all the areas in my life to set healthy boundaries, if I chose to do so. For example, boundaries can be set in the areas of time, communication, anger, friendships, intimacy, possessions, internet/technology, and even food to name a few. The results in my life have been so dramatic because I no longer force myself to do things. The frustration and inner bitterness I used to often feel inside of me as I begrudgingly did something has disappeared. I experience not only living in the present moment, but also being generally happy with my use of time and commitments.  It is very empowering to say the least, as it enabled me to speak up and say NO without the guilt, for the first time in my life. Setting healthy boundaries has enabled me to possessively guard my precious self care time, be selective of the close friends I let into my inner circle and rid myself of toxic relationships.

I must say that the part of setting boundaries I wasn’t counting on, is how some people will not like it one bit. Some people in your life do not like your new voice, inner strength and self respect. They might not respect your boundary setting and try to blow past them, ignoring your request. Do not give up though, you will become stronger. I will never forget the very first boundary I set, as that is exactly what happened to me. She didn’t like it one bit and I had to reset and firmly restate the same boundary maybe three times, with her being quite frustrated with me. I wasn’t prepared with how hard it would be for me to stand my ground, but I was proud of myself that I did it. The self education, awareness and diligence on my part has been well worth it.

I can’t encourage you enough to set healthy boundaries, as you may experience a whole new level of freedom.

 

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