Happy, Healthy Mind – NO Expectations
I have to say with this global pandemic, a lot of my expectations have gone right out the window. Pandemic fatigue is real, y’all. I learned a few years back the personal power of letting go of my expectations. Not just in my relationships, but most importantly, in my relationship with myself. I am a recovering perfectionist. Don’t get me wrong, I think it is healthy to set goals and embrace life aiming to be a better person, but beating yourself up is definitely not helpful. A much more effective approach is called compassionate accountability. It is important to hold yourself accountable, but with love and compassion. Like, when life hands you a pandemic. It’s especially important during these challenging times to give ourselves grace.
A favorite self help book is called Fearless Living. It mentions ‘expectations can poison your relationships with others, both personal and professional. When you expect something from someone else but never express that expectation, you are asking that person to be a mind reader, making silent contracts. Expectations that are unspoken, unrealistic and unmet can cause us to punish the ones we love. Expectations can lead us to feel deprived, resentful, victimized, irritated and disappointed with our life. It becomes too easy to point fingers and blame everyone else for what’s wrong in our lives instead of looking inside ourselves for the answers. We can learn to be committed to our own personal accountability and start to clearly communicate our needs and wants. We can take responsibility for our own state of mind. Bottom line, you are the only one who is responsible for your choices and the way you live your life. You can focus on who you are, what you want and who you are becoming. You can learn to practice self acceptance, personal responsibility and proactive, soul nurturing behaviors.’ I found the tools in this book to be life changing.